Wish for a new start this Spring

Unfortunately, a whole season passed and I didn't blog at all. I don't have a lot of positive news except to say that the kids are happy and healthy, and we are so thankful for that. On November 15th, John's dad was told he was in remission. All the tumors had gone away from the esophagus and the liver. We were all very ecstatic as you can imagine. Dr. Barnett told him to go enjoy life and not think about doctors or cancer and come back in 2 months for a blood panel. The plan was to have PET scans every 3 months at least for the first year. It had been 3 weeks at that time since his final Chemo treatment - Dr. Barnett told him in 2 more weeks, he would start to feel like his regular self again and have so much more energy. We all looked forward to this for him. We were thinking "Man, we could go to hawaii or Seattle!" Two places he always wanted to go. Just ask soon as he felt like his old self again...then we were going to book a trip and cherish the time we'd been given. Well.....he never got more energy and he was never back to his old self in that regard. He had been having a lot of weakness in his legs - we all thought this was him just regaining use of his muscles again after resting so much during all the months of chemo. On December 1st, he fell and really screwed up his knee. After about a week, we all finally convinced him to go to the ER to have it checked out since it was so black and blue and to make sure there was no blood clot. On December 12th, we got the call that they did a CT scan of him and found several (~8-10) tumors in his brain. Two really large ones and at least one was bleeding. they immediately started him on steroids and Dr. Barnett planned 3 straight weeks of Whole Brain Radiation Therapy (WBRT). Christmas came and went somberly. We had to still be merry on the surface for the kids but it was hard. On January 13th, John and I both talked to him on the phone and his speech sounded awful. This alone made me think things were not going well. His MRI was scheduled for January 20th but we weren't event there yet. John's mom told us he didn't look well.....he needed to go to the ER. He was severely swollen and seemed really out of it. We finally talked him into going to the hospital and the next month was spent in and out of the hospital. They couldn't pinpoint what was wrong, but basically, it seems he had all-over problems probably being caused by the brain tumors. We finally got hospice set up on February 8th and he got to go home with a personal 24/7 nurse on the 9th. He went downhill pretty fast, and we got a call from the hospice nurse on Wednesday, February 15th to bring the kids to see him - that it would probably be the last time to see him coherent. We rushed over there that evening, and I am so glad we did. He had moments of opening his eyes and was able to say "I love you" to Noah and Grace and all of us. John and I tossed and turned all night............He died the next afternoon on the 16th at 3:30 PM. The funeral was on the 22nd. I don't know what else to say except that it's still painful to think about. i mostly feel sad and upset when I look at my children. Why do they get robbed of his love? He loved them so much and they brought him so much joy. Noah flew his first kite with him and hit a tee ball for the first time with him. Why does Noah (and Grace) get robbed of more memories like that? Christmases, Easters, birthdays.........

The Monday after the funeral, John had surgery to repair his shoulder (instability). It has been a rough month since then. The worst part is the doctor said it was much worse once he got in there and John is going to need another surgery for a different, more aggressive procedure. This is scheduled for April 23rd. Now our latest blow - John was diagnosed with strep throat AGAIN. he just had it the week of his dad's death. We can't catch a break it seems!!!!!

The kids are a joy though and I love watching them bloom into their individual personalities. We are busy planning Noah's birthday party on April 14th. i wish Nana and Papa could come but they are going to visit my grandma in N.C.

Grace was initially evaluated for a speech delay and they recommended an evaluation/consultation with BVSD for a program that can help with therapy. it is all covered by the school district, so I think we are going to go ahead and do that. We really don't think anything is wrong but since it is offered for free, we might as well.

I hope to stay up to date with this again! Sorry, it has been a rough 4 months.

I promise, we are all still alive....

I can't believe it has been that long since I last blogged. We did move to CO in April and now it is October. Time really does fly. About a month after we got to CO, we found out John's dad, Tom, had Stage 4 Esophageal cancer. It completely blindsided everyone of course. It became really obvious why God wanted us back here. He just completed his last chemo treatment last Friday and he has a scan on November 9th with results appt. on November 15th. Say a prayer please! We are hoping all the cancer is gone.

We moved into our home in May, and we love the Broomfield area (as we did before). We also love Broomfield schools so we are happy about the kids going to them. We found a home care we liked for the kids so their caregiver is Sonia Brown. She is wonderful with the kids and she works so hard.

My parents have been out twice to visit - Grace's birthday and then the first week in October. My mom is supposed to retire by January and I am SO hoping that happens. I really want them to be able to visit more because we all miss them terribly. The kids light up when they see them or talk to them. Hurry back Nana and Papa!

I have been able to work part time and Ball's business is doing great. All good things....

I don't work Mondays and work some Fridays if I have a deadline or something. Mondays I like to spend with the kids. Fridays (if I'm off), I like to get grocery shopping, laundry/housework done without two demanding kids hanging off of me!

Our house in TX is now under contract. We are happy about it but disappointed the market is so bad that we had to take out a loan to meet the price. The foreclosures in the neighborhood are so bad, our value has gone down about $40,000 from when we bought 4.5 years ago. Should be closing the week of Thanksgiving! Keep fingers crossed nothing goes wrong!

I will try and post on here on Mondays....I can also keep up with more personal things on here than on Facebook so the whole world doesn't see.

Happy Halloween!!!!

Packing day....

The packers are here and already moving quickly. The trailer to take the Subaru just showed up. Crazy crazy crazy!!!! I probably won't post another blog until we move into our new house, which is April 22nd. I can't believe we are leaving TX so quickly. Spending time with my parents and seeing how sad they are is really hard on me right now. Heartwrenching would be the best to describe it. I feel so torn and hope this really is the right decision. John and I both start work a week from today on April 11th. Say some prayers for my sanity! LOL! and for all of us while we are traveling. We leave San Antonio on Wednesday morning and will try and drive for all the daylight hours and will probably end up staying the night in Amarillo, TX, arriving in CO on Thursday.

Where did February go???

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written! Time really has just gotten away from me. For 3 weeks, I was watching Jay and Liam also. Last Thursday was the last time I watched them. It was just too much work for me and so I decided not to keep it up in order to spend time with my own kids and to also be able to look for employment. They were great kiddos though and I am so happy I tried. :) Amy was disappointed but Jen (who used to watch Noah) had offered to watch them so at least Amy & Paul had an alternative. But during those 3 weeks, I was super busy and didn't have time to update this blog.

Grace cut her second tooth (on the bottom front also)! And now it is in almost as much as the first one. She is doing good but getting to be such a big girl! John and I have been putting off transitioning her from her "reflux bed" to the crib just because her sleep patterns are so good and we hated to disrupt anything. Well, Saturday morning I walked into her room and she was almost completely turned around and so I grabbed John and we both said "Looks like it's time." The first night she fussed but not for long. Nap time was the hardest but it only took about 2 days for her to get used to it. I am still paranoid since she still uses the big swaddle blanket so being a worrisome mother, I go and check on her a couple times before bed. :)

Noah really enjoyed playing with Jay while he was here so that part makes me the saddest. I got to see his interaction more with a playmate, and I have to say, I didn't realize he could be so bossy. He kept telling Jay where to go, what to play with, etc. It was quite surprising! This past weekend, we went to Beefy's Backyard since it was so nice out and we met Jen, Miguel, Brayden (Noah's BFF) and baby Addi (Grace's age). Noah and Brayden had SO MUCH FUN! Here is a video of them dancing once the DJ got there. :) It had us all cracking up!!!!!!!

Grace isn't crawling just yet but today I saw her "scoot" for the first time. She doesn't like being on her tummy much so she really just is in the sitting position and reaches really far over to grab something and then scoots her butt. I guess I should try and get it on video.

COLD!

I shouldn't put that it is "cold" here right now when it is a windy 35 degrees. You people in Colorado have negative temps right now. John and I were laughing this morning and have decided that we have become "soft." We can't take these falling temps! Brrr!!!!!!

We took the kids to Funtastic Playland this past weekend. It is an indoor place full of HUGE playscapes, HUGE bouncy castles, big pirate ships with slides, castles, etc. Noah had such a good time! We are so glad we took him and look forward to going back again.

We also took them to the Zoo with the Groupon we purchased for the year. He loved all the Africa animals of course. By the time we got home, he napped for 3 hours! Just as Noah is saying about everything lately, he said (about the zoo), "I love it!"

We discovered yesterday that Grace has her first tooth coming in!!!! It is on the bottom right. Noah cut his first at 9 months, so she has started a month and a half earlier. Big girl! She is doing a lot better taking the soy formula, so I am down to only two feedings a day (breastfeeding).

Stay warm everyone!

End of January already

Here we are approaching the end of January already! Super Bowl teams are set - Packers vs. Steelers. We are pulling for the Packers of course! John is still bitter about Super Bowl 5 years ago and we both really like Aaron Rodgers. Go Pack!

We had Grace's dermatology appt yesterday. She just thought it was typical baby eczema and gave me prescription/samples for an oil (called derma smooth) and a steroid cream (called Locoid). I am supposed to "spritz" her with water twice a day and apply the oil, steroid cream and our favorite lotion/cream after that. But I had gone on some forums in the past week and found a suggestion for a lotion called Renew (which we already possessed), which is made my Melaleuca. We used to be members. We LOVED the Renew lotion but I saw on the forums that some people said it made the eczema all better. We started it this past Saturday and I don't want to speak too soon...but it looks SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Her patches were disgusting before and they have improved so much. But we are still doing what the doc said and lastly, putting the Renew.

They are getting big though!

BIG NEWS THOUGH!!!! One of our friends from our birth class, Amy and Paul, have two kids our kids' same ages and their daycare has fallen through. John and I talked about needing the money and we decided for me to take care of their kids at least for now. It is only 3 days a week since she is a professional photographer and works from home. Wish me luck! It starts next Monday. It will be Monday, Wednesday and Thursdays from 10 AM - 6 PM. Noah will have a friend to play with and supposedly, her baby is easy. Nap time is what the challenge will be I think. 4 kids napping at the same time!

Dreary and Cold....

It has been dreary and cold here all week. Brrr! It was supposed to be warmer by today but they were wrong of course. High tomorrow is 54 and 60 on Sunday with rain all weekend. Better temps though than 30s and 40s! So we haven't been able to do a walk or anything. :

Noah was sick last week. Just woke up from his nap on Thursday and had a fever of 103. took him to the urgent care and he tested negative for strep, flu and RSV. By Saturday his fever was gone. We are guessing it was just a virus?

John and I always tell Noah that he "is not the boss. We are the boss" especially during times when he is just whining or demanding something. Lately, when we say "I am the boss." He yells back "I'm the boss too!" Don't know how he is learning to put sentences, etc together so good now but it is hard not to laugh when he says something new. Whenever I load him into the minivan, he says "Momma's strong." and I just tell him yeah, I am. Then, he says "I'm strong too!" and he flexes his muscles like John showed him how to do. :) He has also started calling us mommy, daddy, dad and mom for the first times (not momma and dada).

John brought down the Jumperoo from the attic so Grace could start using it. I thought it was too soon, but she loves it! She loves bouncing! I can't wait til she gets even more crazy in it like Noah did as he got older. Grace's skin is still having a lot of problems (baby eczema), so i have made an appt for the dermatologist in two weeks. She get patches that are rough and red all over her face and now her arms and legs. It is frustrating because I put stuff on it several times a day! It is like it doesn't even help. I will keep you posted about what the doc says. We think it is allergies, but we don't know for sure.

Have a good weekend! GO SEAHAWKS!!!!!!